"I am sure God keeps no one waiting unless He sees it is good for him to wait."
I've been saying lately that I'm sick of being taught to be patient. I don't think I really mean it, but I definitely, definitely think it. I don't want to be patient about knowing what I'm going to do next year mostly. And its not that I haven't thought about it. Because I have. Its just too early to know what my options really are. In my heart, I'm okay with this, its just in my brain where there is impatience. I think that in learning patience, I'm also learning trust. That's my goal for this year: to learn to fully, completely, wholly trust God. I am GREAT at saying that I trust God. My anxious heart, my complaints, my acting-like-I-know-everything attitude say otherwise. How do I do this? Really, I have no idea.
I think it means that I repeat to myself over and over and over that I am loved by God. I am his daughter, his masterpiece, and that I have nothing to prove. I repeat Jeremiah 29:11 again and again and try to completely believe that God DOES have a plan for me. I spend time remembering that God has shown up in the past. That every summer of my life has been exactly what I needed, and every summer I was at a total loss for what to do. I came to Butler and it was the EXACT place I needed to be. I went to Wilderness and a friend was provided for me exactly when I needed it the most. I have a real community of real people who really know me and is what I prayed for in high school. I know my God hears me. I know my God loves me. I know my God knows what's best for me. I just want to trust all that.
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